You know, sometimes I look back on my blog and wonder what the bloody hell I rant on about. I mean really, sometimes I do just let out a serious amount of word vomit. But anyways, finishing this wee lady off has been the highlight of my week :)

I got a positive feedback sheet yesterday containing words from Lynsey Sinnamon, Hazel Blue, and Jamie. All giving their wee piece about how they think I get on in scenic, based on my first allocation there this term. It was all good apart from the reaccuring fact that Im too hard on myself, and my lack of confidence seems to pull my mood down and I dont give myself enough credit to boost my morale and feel good about the work I produce. Turns out im completely 50/50 on being intrinsic and extrinsic in my working environment and what motivates me. We did a little developent sheet, and my allocation of the 'apples' between each optional box of what makes me tick when it comes to my working environment, proves this. Yeah its important to aknowledge what your peers think of your work, and to take in the opinions of experts, but I also need to start working out what my goals are in terms of my own idea of excellence and personal achievement. If I do this, my 'apples' will take care of themself, and shift from the extrinsic boxes into the intrinsic boxes, and I'll stop giving myself a hard time so much and caring too much about what others think! Its kinda a fear of failing I guess :( And not pushing myself to my full potential. I really just need to relax.

"One who fears failure limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again" - Henry Ford


Last night I went to the cinema with Davids mum and sister, to see the newly released film Australia. It was the most stunning, romantic, action packed, and heart warming film I have seen in such a long time :) Its no typical, "boy meets girl, they fall in love, followed by unexpected drama, boy looses girl, anti climax leads to bad guys winning, but good guy saves the day and wins girl back" Its set in northern Australia just before World War II, an English aristocrat, Lady Sarah Ashley (played by Nicole Kidman) inherits her husbands cattle ranch in Darwin. She joins forces with Drover (Hugh Jackman) who is a drover - funnily enough - and in order to save her new property from takeover, they drive over 2000 cattle over the harsh Australian outback into the city, with a team of 6 other riders, and a fair share of drama is encountered by them along the way. They are in the middle of the chaos when Darwin gets bombed by the Japanese forces. It is such a fast moving and captivating film from start to finish, and is packed with so much plot and character development and twists and turns, and for sitting on your arse for 2 hours and 45 minutes, no bloody wonder! I know there are lots of people that wouldn't think of going and seeing this film, but it honestly for me ticked nearly every genre box in the book. I love romance and action, especially when the story is linked to fact, not just fiction, and is intertwined with real history too.Oh dear, Im totally ranting on here. But it was one of those films that 'make you think'... ye know? And make you feel all nice inside. I'd love to end up working on a film like that one day. Dreamer :]

Nullah: Mrs. Boss! We gotta get those fat cheeky bulls into that big bloody metal ship!

The Monday Blues

When one door closes in life, I really do believe that another one opens for you. And even though people let you down on a daily basis, in one shape or form, its really nice to have a content little day of perfection now and again to remind you that big scary mother earth wants us to feel at home on this planet, and not be put off living life by the shite people we encounter in our day to day life. For some reason, which I can't quite put my finger on... today has been a good day. And has really reinforced if you want something in life, get out and grab it by the balls. But also, whats meant for you wont pass you by. I think its really a happy medium of these two factors, together with not letting other peoples bad attitude in your working or personal life to bring you down.

Im getting on quite well with my personal project in scenic, a painting inspired by the works of Audrey Kawasaki ( Apart from my ridiculously long bus journey home tonight, I've came in bright eyed and bushy tailed, letting my brain tick away and im excited again about what awaits me, and what surprises are lurking around the corner in 2009. If I keep this upbeat mood maintained, I think at this rate the rest of the year will be more enjoyable than last year, and I'll be able to have gained and taken in as much information, knowledge and positive experience as I can. I feel like a big bloomin' sponge! Wanting to soak up any creativity or inspiration that comes anywhere near me :)

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd" - From Alexander Pope's poem "Eloisa to Abelard"

Guilty Pleasures

The following are cheeky wee things or happenings that I like, muchly.

1. Finding a biscuit or other munchy type thing in your bag (thats still within 'eat by' date) that you had forgotten about.

2. Discovering soggy money notes in the pockets of washed jeans. Especially when the jeans are not yours, but you are the one doing the washing :)

3. When you go to use the public toilets you have to pay to get into, and there is already an extra 20p credit in the turnstall because some idiot didn't have change.

4. When vending machines go crazy, and give you two packets of sweeties when you only paid for one.

5. When people unknowingly put an extra sugar in your tea. No complaints there.

6. When your gran gives you a fiver to top up your phone, and doesn't listen when you repeat for the millionth time that you've had a contract phone since high school.

7. When there is JUST enough milk left for one cup of coffee. Perfecto.

8. When you come home to a cold (but still awesome) dinner in the fridge and you've actually already eaten. Double whammy. Can't offend mum now eh?

9. When you're at work and a mother refers to you to her wee infant as 'the lady' and not 'the girl'. The lady will throw you out this shop if you don't stop crying! Damn right I will.

10. When people ask if your tattoos/piercings were sore, and you say 'nah' very casually. People love to hear that! Really, I'm lying through my teeth. It was the worst pain in my life and I cried like a wee girl. Ehhh, I mean, a lady!

Bin men? As if they exist! They're the stuff of legends, like unicorns

Hello blog. Its 2009, woo hoo! Im feeling good tonight. I've just deleted my myspace and bebo pages, feel like a huge bit of emotional baggage has been lifted off my shoulders. I was fed up of people (well, just the ones that dont even speak to me) being able to see what Im getting upto in my day to day life. And just sitting on the internet in general, peering through peoples pages aswell, we're all as bad as each other! This year I've promised myself a fresh start, and those social networking sites were just a distraction. I want to focus from now on, on the things that are important in my world. And channel all my positive energy in those directions. The real people that matter in life will keep in touch with me more conventionally. I want my life to be rich in love and culture and laughter and good experiences, I want to live the REAL life, not a virtual one. I've been finding lots of inspiring quotes and lyrics recently, saving quite a few onto my blog, they make me smile. I feel like im just repeating myself here, and not making much sense. But oh my, what a relief....

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

What we know about individuals, no matter how rich the details, will never give us the ability to predict how they will behave as a system. Once individuals link together they become something different. Relationships change us, reveal us, evoke more from us. Only when we join with others do our gifts become visible, even to ourselves.

If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be too cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time
… and remember that time waits for no one…Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Women could do alot for each other to be more compassionate. We could all show more cameraderie, and less jealousy and envy.

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.

A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Looking forward to starting back uni :) kinda... We shall see how it goes.

(you've got my head spinning, heart beating outa my chest)

good times xx